Doc Miltene
From October 8 through
September 17 2020
Here's the record of one of our recent students, shared with permission and anonymized to respect privacy.
This gives you a taste of the sort of work we do here at the Calm Professional.
August 13
5 weeks ago at 11:47am
Worksheet: Better Work, Better Life - Intro Questionnaire
Thanks for your interest in Better Work, Better Life! When we talk during our Intro Call we’ll see if this is a good fit for you. To jump start our conversation, please answer the following.
What are you looking to accomplish in the next 12 months?
My team is on the last 3-month stretch of a nearly 2 year project. I really want to finish strong, so that I'm a shoe-in for a new position that's opening up (it would be a big promotion).
What would accomplishing that mean for your life?
More money (which would give me a bit more freedom), but also a sense that I'm really moving up in my career--that what I'm doing matters. I really crave that sense of accomplishment and purpose.
What obstacles do you see standing in your way?
I'm starting to feel a bit burned out by the long haul and what it's demanded. I feel like I need to unplug a little to relax and refresh, but I don't know if that's possible to do while trying to finish strong.
I'm also feeling a little disconnected from the overall purpose, so I need to work on that too.
How do you see coaching helping with this?
Honestly I’m not sure. I like what you're suggesting, that quality of life is key to quality of work, so I'm excited to get some of that!
Maybe some productivity hacks? I'm looking forward to having a friendly-but-tough outside opinion on how I'm doing and some suggestions of what I might try differently.
That's it! I look forward to speaking with you about this soon!
Due Friday, August 14th at 11:00am
August 14
over 4 weeks ago at 10:54am
Action:
Schedule our first real session for next week
Done 4 weeks ago (8/14) at 10:54am
Was due 8/16/20 at 7:00pm
Was due 8/16/20 at 7:00pm
Friday, Aug 14 at 10:23am
If you feel like it, schedule out all 4 of our sessions. Batching is efficient. :) Friday, Aug 14 at 10:54am
Tuesdays at 10 should be great in general.Looking forward to it!
August 14
over 4 weeks ago at 10:58am
Action:
Sync your calendar with our coaching appointments
Done 4 weeks ago (8/14) at 10:58am
Was due 8/14/20 at 5:00pm
Was due 8/14/20 at 5:00pm
Friday, Aug 14 at 10:58am
Very slick!
August 14
over 4 weeks ago at 11:00am
Session: Intro Call
So nice to meet you! I know it's a big deal to undertake being coached: it's evidence of your commitment to be the best version of yourself that you possibly can, and I am truly honored to play a role supporting you in that.
On to business!
The Situation/Focus
You're on the home stretch of a HUGE project, and looking to tighten up how you do your work, especially as it pertains to quality of life. You know that you can do so much better than a single-minded, "heads down/plow through it" approach: that sort of running comes with serious collateral damage, and probably won't give you the best result anyway.
So we're looking to "tidy up the hygiene" of your work habits, especially as they relate to your overall wellbeing and happiness.
Key Insights or Distinctions
- We're going to take stock of your work habits--how well they serve and how they affect the bigger picture of life.
- Just mere awareness will go a long way towards making improvements.
- Being clearheaded and happy with life will have you doing you best work, AND will make that quality work sustainable.
Actions
- Schedule our first real session for next week, due today at 7:00pm
August 14
over 4 weeks ago at 11:35am
Action:
Mark this Action complete (just for fun, the first of many!)
Done a little Late 4 weeks ago (8/14) at 11:35am
Was due 8/13/20 at 5:00pm
Was due 8/13/20 at 5:00pm
Friday, Aug 14 at 11:35am
That was kinda fun! Love how it swooshes out of my to-do list.
August 16
over 4 weeks ago at 10:01am
Journal Entry: About tracking my project...
Hi John,
I've been thinking about what you said about coaching me around the progress of my big project. I think that would be good BUT that whole scene is already being heavily managed and planned by those at work, and there's a lot of coordination involved with my fellow team members. Plus confidentiality issues, etc.
So I don't think that's going to lend itself so well to being coached directly on.
BUT there's this other thing that I took on that's been stressing me out. Like an idiot I volunteered to put the company picnic together. I thought it would be cool and no big deal but now it's just one more thing to worry about.
Could we work on that instead? It would be a relief to knock that out, and still be a real world opportunity to learn what you're teaching.
Sunday, Aug 16 at 10:56am
Hi Doc,Right on, I totally understand and that's a great idea! We'll talk on Tuesday on how to powerfully set that up and move forward... removing that worry sounds like a nice win waiting to happen!
August 17
over 4 weeks ago at 8:32pm
Worksheet: Pre-Session Prep
Tomorrow we've got a coaching call. Please take NO MORE THAN 5 MINUTES to answer the following 3 questions. Just a quick brain dump to give us some direction for our call.
What is your outlook on things right now?
Work is okay, chugging along as usual. Still feeling a bit busy and burned out, so I'm keen to talk with you tomorrow to really get going.
What are you currently excited about?
I'm excited to work with you to knock out this picnic project so I can stop worrying about it. And to generally learn what you've got to teach and start applying it.
What are you currently putting off or avoiding (i.e. where are you stuck)?
Nothing in particular, I think. Just kinda slogging through and feeling behind.
Be sure to mark this complete so that I get it before our session. Talk to you soon.
Due Tuesday, August 18th at 9:00am
Monday, Aug 17 at 9:03pm
This is great, gives us plenty to go on for today. Talk soon!
August 18
over 4 weeks ago at 11:00am
Session: Coaching Session 1
The Situation/Focus
The office picnic is coming up soon, and what seemed so far away when you first volunteered (plenty of time to do this later!) is now less than 3 weeks away. Time to make a plan, tame your to-dos, and make space to concentrate on the more vital work.
Key Insights or Distinctions
- Just making a list helps to get it out of your head, which helps to reduce overwhelm.
- Obligations swirling around in your head often look bigger and more daunting than they actually are (especially true the more the accumulate!).
- When you map out what there is to do, you can gauge how much time something will REALLY take.
Actions
- Map out your picnic organization as an Action Project, due in 2 days at 7:00pm
August 18
over 4 weeks ago at 11:51am
Action:
Send thank you note to all
Due yesterday (9/16) at 5:00pm
August 18
over 4 weeks ago at 11:52am
Action:
Map out your picnic organization as an Action Project
Done 4 weeks ago (8/18) at 11:52am
Was due 8/18/20 at 7:00pm
Was due 8/18/20 at 7:00pm
Tuesday, Aug 18 at 11:52am
Just take a few minutes to break down ALL the to-dos. Set suitable due dates for each, and any helpful reminders. Tuesday, Aug 18 at 11:52am
Fun! I can see it all laid out. This looks manageable...
August 22
over 3 weeks ago at 8:17am
Message: Frustrated!
Hi John,
So I got 3 emails yesterday telling me I was late on my action items for the picnic. I didn't even think about when I would get those things done, so now to have the system tell me they're late is frustrating.
I was excited to put this all down as a "plan" after talking with you on Tuesday, but this doesn't really help me when things are busy as ever.
So... how's this supposed to help me? So far it's just putting the fact that I'm falling behind on display--not fun!
Thanks,
Doc
So I got 3 emails yesterday telling me I was late on my action items for the picnic. I didn't even think about when I would get those things done, so now to have the system tell me they're late is frustrating.
I was excited to put this all down as a "plan" after talking with you on Tuesday, but this doesn't really help me when things are busy as ever.
So... how's this supposed to help me? So far it's just putting the fact that I'm falling behind on display--not fun!
Thanks,
Doc
Saturday, Aug 22 at 10:24am
Hi Doc,I'm so glad you wrote me! Yeah, I saw those, too. This is all in what I call "The Art of making actual space to do those things that are Important". Being motivated is one thing, but execution it turns out is an entirely different beast. We'll talk about this on our next call.
In the meantime let me give you an exercise that will help you wrap your mind around this.
Have a great weekend,
John
August 22
over 3 weeks ago at 11:02am
Worksheet: Creating that it Matters
In the coming weeks and months we're going to be doing a lot of work together. Some of it will come naturally and easily for you. Other parts you'll resist and have a natural tendency to put off or skip outright.
All of it matters.
All of it is designed to move you along towards your goals, toward accomplishing those things that are important to you. Together we'll be creating numerous tasks and assignments for you to work on, and the things you resist doing are quite likely going to be the things that are the most important part: they'll be the stuff of you growing, reaching beyond what is already typically comfortable for you and into true expansion.
For this to work as best as it possibly can we need for you to create a commitment to doing the work and staying true to the plans we make.
In short, I need for you to create for yourself that this work matters.
On a scale of 1 to 10, without yet having gone through it, how much do you trust this process to be worth doing?
7 - I feel good about this, not sure but I'll play the game
Say more about that.
Well, I've already tripped up on some of my action plan, so I'm not sure I'll be able to keep up! I suppose that's part of what I'm trying to learn in working with you, and I REALLY want that.
So... yes, I'm up for the challenge and hope (without knowing!) that it will work!
How committed are you to making this work?
Pretty darn committed. There's a lot at stake for me, the promotion, the money, the freedom that comes with it; plus feeling more at peace rather than in the hectic swirl. So yeah, I really want to make the effort to get these things.
What's likely to prevent you from doing all of the work?
Hitting a wall. At some point sheer exhaustion kicks in, making it impossible to put in more effort, even if I want to. I don't know how to overcome that.
What sort of things are you apt to put off or ignore?
New practices or ideas, when I don't see (or am not sold on) the point.
Are those things worth doing to get you what you want?
Maybe? Again, I can be stubborn when it comes to trying new things. So I really want to be sold on something as worth doing. If you can convince me then yes, I'll find them worth doing.
What will you do when you're feeling stuck to get unstuck?
I'll try to notice when I think something is a waste of my time, and reach out to you to let you know that (and maybe ask you to convince me again--sorry, I'll try not to be annoying about this!).
How about if it's something you think is genuinely not worth doing?
I'll let you know point blank, I have no problem with doing that! Then I guess we can have a conversation.
I think if you can remind me of what's at stake, that'll help me to take on faith that something is worth doing, even if I'm not feeling it.
Thanks for bearing with. The point of all of this is to provide a reference point for you to circle back to when the going gets tough. We don't ever want to have your dashboard Overview tab to be littered with a red smattering of incomplete and overdue stuff.
Instead we want to cultivate a sea of timely green completion and accomplishment, a sure sign of you making worthy and difference-making progress.
Put this all together. In a paragraph or three please summarize your commitment to doing the work, what's at stake for your efforts here, and what your strategy is for keeping on track:
What's at stake for me in mastering this program is to really excel at work: to get that promotion, raise and freedom, and to do it without killing myself or burning out.
In summary, to gracefully do my best work and reap the rewards from it.
I'm committed to getting myself to that place, and when the going gets tough I promise to let you know and have a conversation to get back on track.
All of it matters.
All of it is designed to move you along towards your goals, toward accomplishing those things that are important to you. Together we'll be creating numerous tasks and assignments for you to work on, and the things you resist doing are quite likely going to be the things that are the most important part: they'll be the stuff of you growing, reaching beyond what is already typically comfortable for you and into true expansion.
For this to work as best as it possibly can we need for you to create a commitment to doing the work and staying true to the plans we make.
In short, I need for you to create for yourself that this work matters.
On a scale of 1 to 10, without yet having gone through it, how much do you trust this process to be worth doing?
7 - I feel good about this, not sure but I'll play the game
Say more about that.
Well, I've already tripped up on some of my action plan, so I'm not sure I'll be able to keep up! I suppose that's part of what I'm trying to learn in working with you, and I REALLY want that.
So... yes, I'm up for the challenge and hope (without knowing!) that it will work!
How committed are you to making this work?
Pretty darn committed. There's a lot at stake for me, the promotion, the money, the freedom that comes with it; plus feeling more at peace rather than in the hectic swirl. So yeah, I really want to make the effort to get these things.
What's likely to prevent you from doing all of the work?
Hitting a wall. At some point sheer exhaustion kicks in, making it impossible to put in more effort, even if I want to. I don't know how to overcome that.
What sort of things are you apt to put off or ignore?
New practices or ideas, when I don't see (or am not sold on) the point.
Are those things worth doing to get you what you want?
Maybe? Again, I can be stubborn when it comes to trying new things. So I really want to be sold on something as worth doing. If you can convince me then yes, I'll find them worth doing.
What will you do when you're feeling stuck to get unstuck?
I'll try to notice when I think something is a waste of my time, and reach out to you to let you know that (and maybe ask you to convince me again--sorry, I'll try not to be annoying about this!).
How about if it's something you think is genuinely not worth doing?
I'll let you know point blank, I have no problem with doing that! Then I guess we can have a conversation.
I think if you can remind me of what's at stake, that'll help me to take on faith that something is worth doing, even if I'm not feeling it.
Thanks for bearing with. The point of all of this is to provide a reference point for you to circle back to when the going gets tough. We don't ever want to have your dashboard Overview tab to be littered with a red smattering of incomplete and overdue stuff.
Instead we want to cultivate a sea of timely green completion and accomplishment, a sure sign of you making worthy and difference-making progress.
Put this all together. In a paragraph or three please summarize your commitment to doing the work, what's at stake for your efforts here, and what your strategy is for keeping on track:
What's at stake for me in mastering this program is to really excel at work: to get that promotion, raise and freedom, and to do it without killing myself or burning out.
In summary, to gracefully do my best work and reap the rewards from it.
I'm committed to getting myself to that place, and when the going gets tough I promise to let you know and have a conversation to get back on track.
Now, commit to live like this:
I, Doc Miltene, commit to following through.
Signed:
Due Monday, August 24th at 5:00pm
Saturday, Aug 22 at 11:17am
Really great work, Doc. Thanks for doing this.I get you're at a 7, that's okay. This doesn't have to be a faith thing and I'm good with being on the hook to convince you that whatever I ask you to do is worth doing. We'll see what we can do to help you with the sheer exhaustion issue, too.
August 24
over 3 weeks ago at 8:17pm
Worksheet: Pre-Session Prep
Tomorrow we've got a coaching call. Please take NO MORE THAN 5 MINUTES to answer the following 3 questions. Just a quick brain dump to give us some direction for our call.
What is your outlook on things right now?
A little daunted. I was a little less stressed to have a plan worked out for the picnic project, but like I said over the weekend, it's a bit disheartening to make a plan and then just have a big display of "here's all the stuff you failed to do on time!".
I need some help to actually be more productive!
I need some help to actually be more productive!
What are you currently excited about?
Eh, nothing comes to mind.
What are you currently putting off or avoiding (i.e. where are you stuck)?
The picnic project to dos. There's just so much else going on that it feels impossible to get ahead.
Be sure to mark this complete so that I get it before our session. Talk to you soon.
Due Tuesday, August 25th at 9:00am
August 25
over 3 weeks ago at 10:00am
Session: Coaching Session 2
The Situation/Focus
You're feeling a little frazzled and frustrated with the challenge of focusing, when there are so many thing to focus on.
Deadlines for even the best laid plans can sneak up on you, as happened this week with your intentions around the picnic project.
The time is right to put some power into your practice of execution.
Key Insights or Distinctions
- Checking email first thing in the day is poison for productivity: it might feel good to check on "what's going on in the world" and maybe even solve an issue or answer a question. BUT it comes at the cost of squandering your most clearheaded time of day.
- Output before input: do great work (output) before inviting into your headspace the distractions of the world (input, i.e. email, news, social media).
- Going forward, time spent working on meaningful things BEFORE allowing input will be called Civilized Hours. Let us play a game to measure and increase the number of such hours!
I think you get what I'm talking about when I say "Civilized Hours". To really bring it home I'll share with you shortly a little missive I wrote about the idea a while back. I'll put it in as one of your Whiteboards for easy reference anytime. :)
Tuesday, Aug 25 at 10:42am
Carve out space to do the REAL work: play the game of Civilized Hours. :)
August 26
3 weeks ago at 9:26am
Action:
Figure out lunch menu selections
Done Late 3 weeks ago (8/26) at 9:26am
Was due 8/21/20 at 5:00pm
Was due 8/21/20 at 5:00pm
Wednesday, Aug 26 at 9:26am
That went pretty quick as a first task of the day! Wednesday, Aug 26 at 10:01am
It can be surprising how quick some tasks go when you're mind isn't all jammed up.
August 26
3 weeks ago at 10:21am
Action:
Design a pretty event flyer
Done Late 3 weeks ago (8/26) at 10:21am
Was due 8/21/20 at 5:00pm
Was due 8/21/20 at 5:00pm
August 26
3 weeks ago at 10:28am
Action:
Email colleagues with details
Done Late 3 weeks ago (8/26) at 10:28am
Was due 8/21/20 at 5:00pm
Was due 8/21/20 at 5:00pm
Wednesday, Aug 26 at 10:28am
On a roll! Just over the mark for the Civilized Hours I gave myself today... feels great to have these items handled!
August 26
3 weeks ago at 11:16am
Whiteboard: Civilized Hours, Defined
Just a few thoughts from Doc in blue.
"Let's not be uncivilized about this..."
This is a phrase I like to apply to claim a certain calm power in a situation, to calmly assert that no, that's no good, let's do something more workable.
A good example is if someone is on the East Coast and would like to schedule a meeting at 9am their time. I might be tempted to bend over backwards a little to accommodate and say yes, consigning myself to be ready by 7am my time when that is not at all convenient.
This is a phrase I like to apply to claim a certain calm power in a situation, to calmly assert that no, that's no good, let's do something more workable.
A good example is if someone is on the East Coast and would like to schedule a meeting at 9am their time. I might be tempted to bend over backwards a little to accommodate and say yes, consigning myself to be ready by 7am my time when that is not at all convenient.
At those moments I say to myself "Well let's not be uncivilized about this", playfully telling myself that there's just no need for me to get up at a barbaric hour of the day just to please when that's hardly urgent or necessary amid other options... Oh my gosh I love this--I do that sort of bending over backwards all the time, but for what, just to look good? I love this.
No, I should just counter offer with something more workable. Something more... civilized you might say. YAAASS.
So too with my instinct to check my email first thing in the morning when I get at my desk. A child like eagerness in me looks forward to it, the excitement of "Maybe there's a support issue I should jump on! Someone who wants to talk to me! An issue I need to solve!"
"Tsk tsk no no, let's not be uncivilized about this" my higher self says. It can wait--there's no need to get on some unending sleigh ride of the day's tasks and customer service opportunities without devoting some heads down time to the more calm and heady pursuit of truly BUILDING something.
There's always the whirlwind of day to day operations, but that shouldn't push aside the work that constitutes true forward progress. Operations can wait, real work is what people actually care about.
So, to my instinct to check in on what the world might need of me the moment I get online, I say let's not be uncivilized about this by running needlessly head first into distraction. Let me instead enjoy a few civilized hours first doing what truly matters, and THEN tend to the needs of the world around me.
Doing so generally puts me in a better mood, more calm and clearheaded from the satisfaction that comes with tending to that which truly matters. I'm more efficient that way, and the forward progress work is an investment in easier tomorrows. This so resonates!!
I for so long have known that it's worth putting off an email check in order to get real work done, yet invariably the practice is short lived, falling back into the habit of going first for the quick and cheap gratification. So let me actually track my Civilized Hours according to a VERY SIMPLE RULE:
Hours spent working on a single specific project in a given day count as Civilized Hours UNTIL the moment I, for whatever reason, check my email. Tough but fair! Also, nuts to email! (Okay, not forever, but yes, feels right to put it on the back burner. :)
Once checked, there are no more civilized hours to be counted for the rest of the day (no matter how good my reason for checking). The game is simply to play for the number of quality working hours put in prior to checking email.
I think this will be a fun Metric to track. :) Agreed!
No, I should just counter offer with something more workable. Something more... civilized you might say. YAAASS.
So too with my instinct to check my email first thing in the morning when I get at my desk. A child like eagerness in me looks forward to it, the excitement of "Maybe there's a support issue I should jump on! Someone who wants to talk to me! An issue I need to solve!"
"Tsk tsk no no, let's not be uncivilized about this" my higher self says. It can wait--there's no need to get on some unending sleigh ride of the day's tasks and customer service opportunities without devoting some heads down time to the more calm and heady pursuit of truly BUILDING something.
There's always the whirlwind of day to day operations, but that shouldn't push aside the work that constitutes true forward progress. Operations can wait, real work is what people actually care about.
So, to my instinct to check in on what the world might need of me the moment I get online, I say let's not be uncivilized about this by running needlessly head first into distraction. Let me instead enjoy a few civilized hours first doing what truly matters, and THEN tend to the needs of the world around me.
Doing so generally puts me in a better mood, more calm and clearheaded from the satisfaction that comes with tending to that which truly matters. I'm more efficient that way, and the forward progress work is an investment in easier tomorrows. This so resonates!!
I for so long have known that it's worth putting off an email check in order to get real work done, yet invariably the practice is short lived, falling back into the habit of going first for the quick and cheap gratification. So let me actually track my Civilized Hours according to a VERY SIMPLE RULE:
Hours spent working on a single specific project in a given day count as Civilized Hours UNTIL the moment I, for whatever reason, check my email. Tough but fair! Also, nuts to email! (Okay, not forever, but yes, feels right to put it on the back burner. :)
Once checked, there are no more civilized hours to be counted for the rest of the day (no matter how good my reason for checking). The game is simply to play for the number of quality working hours put in prior to checking email.
I think this will be a fun Metric to track. :) Agreed!
Wednesday, Aug 26 at 11:18am
I sprinkled some of my thoughts into this, I hope you don't mind! Wednesday, Aug 26 at 3:02pm
Not at all!I gave you edit access for a reason--feel free to fashion as your own! :)
August 27
3 weeks ago at 5:41am
Worksheet: Tidying Up the Loose Ends
"Loose ends."
We all have a general sense of what this phrase entails, but I'd like to distinguish the idea a little further to get your mind honed to recognize these for the impact they have.
Loose Ends are those little things you have to do. They're not the main thing you're working on, they're those little side tasks that you need to attend to and finish eventually to keep life going smoothly. They're not something you did right away, they're something you saved to circle back to later.
They are
We all have a general sense of what this phrase entails, but I'd like to distinguish the idea a little further to get your mind honed to recognize these for the impact they have.
Loose Ends are those little things you have to do. They're not the main thing you're working on, they're those little side tasks that you need to attend to and finish eventually to keep life going smoothly. They're not something you did right away, they're something you saved to circle back to later.
They are
- That starred email in your inbox you need to deal with
- That favor you promised to do
- That person you've been meaning to reach out to
- That paperwork you need to file
- That piece of mail on your desk you need to deal with
- That thing you just ran out of and need to get more of
Loose Ends tend to crop up on a regular interval. You can expect one or two a day, or if you're lucky two or three a week.
And when you've got a lot going on, it's totally okay to put them off for a little while. In fact it's often the most appropriate thing to do: when you're doing your best, heads-down work you don't want to interrupt your flow and should eschew distraction. Tending to loose ends is like flossing--if you skip a night or two it's okay, your dentist probably isn't going to notice.
BUT left undone for too long these loose ends start to have a massively detrimental impact on your work. Life flossing, if you put them off for too long things start to get gross.
With time, accumulated loose ends devolve into
- Mental clutter that cramps your best work
- Things that spin in your head when you try to sleep
- A sense that there's just too much too keep up with
- Loss of the sense of badassery that you're on top of things
- Despair that you'll never get real work done with all these distractions
In summary, loose ends rob you of your mental bandwidth both in waking and sleeping hours.
So tidying up the lose ends is tantamount to making more space for what you want: good rest, good work, good leisure.
So let's make space, shall we?
How do you think your loose end situation is right now?
What sort of impact do you think your loose ends are having on you?
Lack of focus, difficulty in starting things when there's the nagging sensation that I'm neglecting everything else. I do think about these things while I'm try to fall asleep, so it's impacting my sleep, too.
List just 2 or 3 of the loose ends that are most prominent in your brain right now.
- A friend is waiting on me to give feedback on some copy he wrote
- I really should reach out to my accountant about my investment accounts
- I've been meaning to take my 3-year-old son to ride the bus downtown
What's nice is that the picnic project is NOT on my mind right now, as I'm now just waiting on RSVPs to come it! :)
What sort of impact do you think your loose ends are having on you?
Lack of focus, difficulty in starting things when there's the nagging sensation that I'm neglecting everything else. I do think about these things while I'm try to fall asleep, so it's impacting my sleep, too.
List just 2 or 3 of the loose ends that are most prominent in your brain right now.
- A friend is waiting on me to give feedback on some copy he wrote
- I really should reach out to my accountant about my investment accounts
- I've been meaning to take my 3-year-old son to ride the bus downtown
What's nice is that the picnic project is NOT on my mind right now, as I'm now just waiting on RSVPs to come it! :)
That's all for this exercise. We're gonna work next on tidying up those loose ends, you're gonna love it.
Due Saturday, August 29th at 5:00pm
Thursday, Aug 27 at 1:32pm
Hey Doc,Hope you're having a good week. Here's a little lesson about Loose Ends that I think is very timely for you right now.
Next time you're in a block of Civilized Hours (hopefully tomorrow morning!) I recommend you do this FIRST--you won't regret it.
Cheers,
John
August 30
over 2 weeks ago at 2:16pm
Action:
Collect and tally the RSVPs
Done 18 days ago (8/30) at 2:16pm
Was due 8/30/20 at 3:00pm
Was due 8/30/20 at 3:00pm
Sunday, Aug 30 at 2:16pm
Just in time... whew!
August 30
over 2 weeks ago at 2:21pm
Action:
Share final numbers with The Getty staff
Done 18 days ago (8/30) at 2:21pm
Was due 8/30/20 at 3:30pm
Was due 8/30/20 at 3:30pm
Sunday, Aug 30 at 2:21pm
So nice to have this done.
August 30
over 2 weeks ago at 2:21pm
Action:
Arrange transportation
Canceled 18 days ago (8/30) at 2:21pm
Was due 8/31/20 at 5:00pm
Was due 8/31/20 at 5:00pm
Sunday, Aug 30 at 2:21pm
I talked it over with folks and realized it would be more hassle than it's worth, and perfectly acceptable to let everyone manage their own getting there.
August 31
over 2 weeks ago at 11:20am
Action:
Book the bounce house
Done 17 days ago (8/31) at 11:20am
Was due 9/2/20 at 5:00pm
Was due 9/2/20 at 5:00pm
Friday, Aug 28 at 10:11am
Hey John, I had a thing come up and moved the due date myself--I hope that's okay! Friday, Aug 28 at 3:07pm
Absolutely okay!Being aware and mindful of the plan, and adjusting it as needed WITHOUT letting things actually lapse is a surprisingly powerful skill.
Well done, now you’re getting the hang of it! Do you feel more in control? :)
Friday, Aug 28 at 3:11pm
YES. Thanks!
August 31
over 2 weeks ago at 2:43pm
Worksheet: Pre-Session Prep
Tomorrow we've got a coaching call. Please take NO MORE THAN 5 MINUTES to answer the following 3 questions. Just a quick brain dump to give us some direction for our call.
What is your outlook on things right now?
Good! Civilized Hours have been, well, magical! I feel like I've got this window of time when I basically have permission to tell the whole world to just back off for a little bit. And because I'm getting great things done and eventually circle back, the whole world doesn't seem to mind. :)
The downside though is that I'm noticing my sleep suffering: when I work as hard as I want with deep concentration that Civilized Hours makes possible, I find my mind buzzing at the end of the night, making it hard to sleep even though I'm exhausted. That makes the next day not nearly as good.
The downside though is that I'm noticing my sleep suffering: when I work as hard as I want with deep concentration that Civilized Hours makes possible, I find my mind buzzing at the end of the night, making it hard to sleep even though I'm exhausted. That makes the next day not nearly as good.
What are you currently excited about?
More Civilized Hours! Seriously, it's like a drug to cross this many things off of my to do list. I'm excited to do more of it and keep feeling that rush of completion.
What are you currently putting off or avoiding (i.e. where are you stuck)?
Umm... my field trip with my son keeps getting put off. Hmm... that's a good reminder to not have it be all about work!
Be sure to mark this complete so that I get it before our session. Talk to you soon.
Due Tuesday, September 1st at 9:00am
September 1
over 2 weeks ago at 11:00am
Session: Coaching Session 3
The Situation/Focus
Civilized Hours are a hit, but things might be coming out of balance: time with family is lagging behind a little bit, and it seems so is sleep!
You're clear about what you want: to have a working routine that has you productive and moving along swiftly, AND leaves you in good health and feeling vital from day to day.
It's a balancing act that is generally tricky, and can certainly feel impossible when plowing through today leaves you feel wrecked tomorrow! Working as hard as you want takes a hard toll (even when focused and fruitful). Being mentally wired or even too excited to sleep after long working hours leads to a foggy head the next day. That really slows down progress.
Key Insights or Distinctions
- Getting quality sleep, even when you have ample time for it, is not something that can be taken for granted when you're working hard: it's a skill to be cultivated.
- Let's measure the quality of your sleep for a little while, and note what you think made it go one way or the other. Patterns will reveal themselves!
- Being in the right headspace is key for good sleep. There are some things I'd like you to check out in case useful.
Actions
- Check out Stress Less, Accomplish More, due ind 3 days at 7:00pm
- Check out the Sleep with Me podcast, due in 3 days at 7:00pm
September 1
over 2 weeks ago at 1:33pm
Action:
Check out Stress Less, Accomplish More
Done 16 days ago (9/1) at 1:33pm
Was due 9/5/20 at 7:00pm
Was due 9/5/20 at 7:00pm
Tuesday, Sep 1 at 11:23am
Find the link to it in your Files. I've found a meditation practice to be super useful, and Emily's treatment of the topic is very approachable.I don't expect you to buy the book, but do give it a look.
Tuesday, Sep 1 at 1:33pm
Purchased! I will unflinchingly spend $12 on any book that I'm even remotely interested in without hesitation--it's a policy that has served me well. :) Tuesday, Sep 1 at 9:33pm
Oh wow, just a few chapters in so far but LOVE IT already.Thanks!
Wednesday, Sep 2 at 11:20am
Right? The detox period she mentions is real, but so worth it to go through! Enjoy.
September 1
over 2 weeks ago at 1:34pm
Action:
Check out the Sleep with Me podcast
Done 16 days ago (9/1) at 1:34pm
Was due 9/5/20 at 7:00pm
Was due 9/5/20 at 7:00pm
Tuesday, Sep 1 at 11:24am
You'll find the link to it in your Files. Can work like a charm when you're trying to sleep yet your mind is racing! Thursday, Sep 3 at 11:05am
A little quirky but not bad! I can only remember hearing like the first 10 minutes, so I guess it worked. Subscribed. :)
September 4
over 1 week ago at 5:36pm
Action:
Send final reminder to colleagues
Done 13 days ago (9/4) at 5:36pm
Was due 9/5/20 at 12:00pm
Was due 9/5/20 at 12:00pm
Friday, Sep 4 at 5:36pm
Everything's all set! Looking forward to attending on Sunday. :)
September 5
over 1 week ago at 8:49am
Journal Entry: From tracking to good habits
I'm finding the exercise of tracking things surprising for a number of reasons.
It's fun. I crave to see myself "in the green" on these things, and to build a perfect streak.
It's motivating. I like seeing my graph but I know you're looking at it, too. It means a lot to me that you care, and so that makes me want to give a strong showing.
It works. It was hard to make space for Civilized Hours at first, and setting myself up for quality sleep seemed a haphazard thing. But now, after tracking both for a little while, they're both becoming ingrained as a nice little habit.
So yeah, thanks for getting me on to tracking these things. And for the guidance around doing them well, of course!
I've been kinda dabbling with learning violin for a while now, something to have a nice little leisure hobby that's more satisfying than watching Netflix. Do you mind if I set that up in here as a metric?
Saturday, Sep 5 at 10:18am
But of course! This system is for you and whatever you want to work on. Feel free to set up whatever supports you in winning. AND... great work. I'm so glad to see you finding power in tracking your things to create good habits.
September 6
over 1 week ago at 8:41pm
Journal Entry: Picnic at the Getty was a hit!
Just wanted to record here for posterity: today's picnic at the Getty was a hit.
Everything went smoothly, and like 7 of my colleagues came up to me specifically to tell me they appreciated me standing up to do this and that it was great, better even than past years.
I felt really on top of things, and even my boss's boss complimented me on having great organizational skill. I know that's kinda corporate mumbo-jumbo, but I think I caught what she was hinting at: she thinks I'd fit well in a leadership role. :)
THANK YOU for your help in getting me to up my game in planning and execution. Even doing it for something as trite as a company picnic is a big win.
Monday, Sep 7 at 10:12am
That's fantastic, way to go!Yeah, even a simple, low stakes endeavor can be a powerful playground for learning these skills, and YES, they DO translate well into other areas!
Thanks for sharing, this makes my day. :)
September 7
over 1 week ago at 2:35pm
Metric: Quality of Sleep
September 7
over 1 week ago at 3:21pm
Worksheet: Pre-Session Prep
Tomorrow we've got a coaching call. Please take NO MORE THAN 5 MINUTES to answer the following 3 questions. Just a quick brain dump to give us some direction for our call.
What is your outlook on things right now?
GREAT. I'm still riding high off the win of having pulled off the picnic so well, both for having it now off my plate AND for feeling so good about how it went (and leveling up my ability to execute in the process!).
I've been a lot more calm thanks to getting more quality work done on the main work project. We're now two months out but my part feels like it's starting to wind down. I might finish early, which would be amazing.
Truly it feels like there really is time for all of it. This is a nice change of pace from the persistent, low-level stress of always feeling a little behind.
I've been a lot more calm thanks to getting more quality work done on the main work project. We're now two months out but my part feels like it's starting to wind down. I might finish early, which would be amazing.
Truly it feels like there really is time for all of it. This is a nice change of pace from the persistent, low-level stress of always feeling a little behind.
What are you currently excited about?
I've had two remarkably good nights of sleep in the last week, and I'm excited for that to become an even more regular occurrence. Also again, I might finish my part of the huge project early, which is huge.
What are you currently putting off or avoiding (i.e. where are you stuck)?
I can't really think of anything. I don't wanna get cocky though, so maybe you can help me explore this to see if there's something I'm missing.
Be sure to mark this complete so that I get it before our session. Talk to you soon.
Due Tuesday, September 8th at 9:00am
September 8
over 1 week ago at 10:00am
Session: Coaching Session 4
The Situation/Focus
You're in a powerful place! A couple of key skills are really coming into focus: mapping out your work, making space to do that work, and self care to sustain that work.
You're now in a place of pursuing mastery: refining and more deeply ingraining these habits so that they happen effortlessly and consistently.
Key Insights or Distinctions
- Now that you've got more bandwidth for it, you can focus your attention on bringing balance to other parts of your life. Family, for example, I'm sure would be pleased to have some deliberate time carved out for them on a regular basis!
- Keep tracking those things that are important and difference-making, until they get so automatic that tracking becomes a boring perfect streak. :)
- If you ever feel stagnant or stuck in the future, we can pick up again right from where we left off.
Doc, I want to acknowledge you once again: this is really great work you've done over the last 4 weeks.
I’ll be starting another round of my group coaching program late next month - if you want in let me know and I’ll send you the application form. Either way, big kudos to you and I wish you a strong finish with your work project. I'd love to hear where you end up around that promotion.
Best,
John
September 11
6 days ago at 3:01pm
Metric: Civilized Hours
September 11
6 days ago at 10:03pm